Thursday, April 28, 2011

Dragon Age Sex Versus Dragon Age 2 Sex

I know I’ve been missing posting for quite a few days now. I did come out of my Internet coma to post for Easter though, so I should get a cookie for that. Basically, I haven’t been online at all for the last couple weeks. I got Dragon Age 2 and it’s been eating up my time.

And since this is a weird sex blog, and you don’t get much weirder than this



humorously bad (okay, this one isn't that bad, but I'm still looking for the 'zesty' mod video, but please, do notice the awkward Sten in the background at 2:51 staring at the couple), animated porn, I thought I’d take the time to talk about Dragon Age 2 a bit. Well, complain about it, more accurately.

Dragon Age 2 took all the good things they had developed during Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect 2 and threw them out the window. Unlike Mass Effect 2 which had huge amounts of romance options, Dragon Age 2 is now back down to the traditional 4, though this time they’re all bisexual so there’s more options for the gay and lesbian crowd, at least. Unlike Mass Effect 2 and Dragon Age, which allowed you to talk to your party members all the time, or even kiss or have sex with those you were in a relationship with, Dragon Age 2 limits your interaction. Your party members basically never speak to you unless they want something from you. And dear Maker, if I was trying to romance one of those people in real life, and I had to wait 3 years to have sex with someone I was flirting heavily with, or if I had to wait 3 years to have sex and then another 3 to have sex again, I’d blow a gasket.

I’m asexual and I put out more often than that!

I will give the Bioware team this though; the kiss scene this time around were awesome. The kiss with Fenris, where you push him up against the wall made me giddy. Just look at this win!



The impromptu and unexpected kiss with Anders made my panties wet - not really, but it was a really good kiss. Too bad the kisses with the women were… lacking in skilled animation. Isabela’s kisses didn’t even line up properly with my character’s lips. Like she was kissing her eyeballs or something.

As a side note, it’s kind of ironic that I was too lazy to go look up porn, so I wrote this article, which took even longer to write than finding porn would have taken.

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