Shemale Fetish Advanced Masturbation Techniques: Street Fighter Porno

Whoever thought Chun Li would serve the shemale fetish crowd? Beyond that, who expected she would be stuffing dildos into her stretched vagina and asshole while having beads stuffed down her pisshole and into her nipples. That's right, right in her nipples.

All while she sucks her own dick.

What the hell? Just, what the hell?




I especially love how shocked Chun Li looks about sucking her own dick and cumming. Did she not realize it was happening?

Been a Weird Pussy Stretching Halloween

Happy Halloween, dear MSFTs!

Another Halloween and you're sitting at home by yourself, pulling your pud to weird porn? It's okay, I knew you'd be here. That's why I came prepared.

I can't read the signature and the site I found this on didn't give credit so if you are the artist or know the artist or can read that signature, let me know and I'll give credit where it's due.

Now, go dream of shoving Jackolanterns up a girl's cunt and leave me alone, you pervs; I have trick-or-treating to do.

Masturbation Shit Fetish

You know, people go to really strange lengths to masturbate. I mean, we spend millions on porn and sex toys every year in the world.

And all this time you could have been getting sex toys completely free!

Apparently, to shit fetish people, shit is multipurpose. It not only goes into a toilet bowel, gets eaten or squishes in your pants (seriously, what is wrong with these shit fetish people?), it can be used to masturbate.

I'm really hoping this was fake. I mean seriously, ew.

An Important Update about Mystery Sex Fetish Theater

And now, an important update from the Mystery Sex Fetish Theater owner.

I'm sorry to say that I can't keep up with this blog as much as I used to. It's been a fun ride, but I'm not making any money off this blog at all to cover the cost of the time it takes me both to find pornography that is suitable and to post it up - being witty and sarcastic takes more time and thought than some believe.

Thank you to those who have followed me all this time and enjoyed the content I have provided. And never fear! I am not going anywhere. The site is not going anywhere and it will be updated with new content still. There will always be new, weird fetishes to laugh at - or as most of you nasty, perverts probably do, jerk off to.

I will now be updating the blog just once a week. There may be some weeks where I find a particularly heavy cache of strange-ness, but for the most part, once a week is all it will be. You will still get the same high-quality pithy remarks and sarcastic comments alongside the weird, creepy and fascinating fetishes, so don't worry about that.

Again, thank you to my loyal readers who have followed along here and who, I hope, will continue to do so despite the lower posting rate.

I may experiment with the site in order to try and get more out of the ads. If I make enough I would feel justified in continuing at the previous rate of posting. So if the site looks a little different do not be alarmed; there is nothing wrong.

And just because I know I cannot get your attention with text alone, here's some weird guro hentai for you:

I believe the authors name is Kotoe. All I have to say is, you sick, sick bastard. Now why the hell can't I stop staring at it?

The vagina boob is my favorite part.

Birthday with Batman Porno

Happy birthday MSFT,
You're really swell; it's okay.
Been a year to the day.
Take the night off, let's play.

Happy birthday Mystery Sex Fetish Theater! You're a year older, a year raunchier, a year more fucked up and hopefully there will be many more years of laughter, and insanely pricey therapist bills, to come.

The concept of this is actually really interesting, and even inspired a story about Harley, Ivy and Batgirl that I might share at some point when I stop being lazy, but the art itself stinks.

Those abs are horribly rendered. The bullet holes have the same consistency as those candles - which I pretend means it actually is candle wax that Harley just squished onto her to keep the candles from leaking, because bullet holes are not sexy at all. The blood on Batgirl's face seems to defy the laws of gravity somehow, not to mention the fact that there's no obvious place it came from. Why are there only five candles? Is Joker turning five? Is it shorthand for fifty? And just a personal preference, fire crotch would have been appropriate; she is a natural redhead.

Keep trying Deberzer. Hell, maybe by now you've actually improved. I sure hope so.

Bye bye now.

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Twisted Fairytales: Jasmine Naked and Evil

When I was little I always loved the movie Aladdin: Return of Jafar. I loved Jafar. I thought he was one of the best bad guys in the world. Best yet, he was powerful.

Even as a kid I was drawn to power and that made Jafar sexy later in my life, especially as a genie.

Guess Jasmine got the memo that power is amazing.

It's just a photo but this is probably one of my favorite Disney sex cartoons I've ever seen. It's classy and amazingly well-drawn.

Image by VP.

Final Fantasy Gay Fetish Pics

I rate Japanese video games, especially those long RPGs, very closely with anime. And Final Fantasy was a big part of my childhood, just as much, if not more so, than anime like Dragon Ball Z.

If you ever thought there was something gay going on between Seifer and Squall - like I did - then you were wrong. The abundance of gay fetish pics in the Final Fantasy world prove that; I have only seen a couple with Seifer and Squall together, whereas this pairing seems to be the most popular.

Obviously Seifer's animosity toward both Squall and Zell, though more Zell, was caused by wanting to have a relationship with Squall, but being unable to because Zell was in the way. Chickenshit!

Penis Guro

While we're on the subject of guro sex again, I have more photos! I know you're just thrilled, excited and possibly even squeamish all at the same time. If you're not feeling squeamish then get help, you sick, sick fucker! Penis guro is actually pretty tough to find, but I did come across this lovely photo while doing a search for cartoon doctor. This is why safe search is so, so important.

But since I've been traumatized, I'll return the favor.

Clearly the explanation is that sperm is an antiseptic. Thus it is very important that you cum inside of your own open abdominal cavity during surgery. The doctor will assist if you have trouble achieving this on your own.

Is this from a hentai comic thing? Or does anyone know the artist?

Hairy Blonde BBW

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Internet is for Porn

I have found proof that the internet is for porn and always has been for porn. Even back in the old days before graphics, when computers and the internet were just scrolling text on a screen, people still made porn. It's in our genes to share our perverse ideas.

Of course, I have yet to find any ASCII art of fisting or anything, so at least scrolling text kept it relatively clean.

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There is sex on a horse though. So they were starting to get kinky. 

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Gyno Exam with Clean Enemas

All I could think after he started with the bizarre anal speculuming was 'oh my God, that woman's peehole is huge!

Does that make me weird? Maybe it makes me jaded. Though you'd think after all those peehole play videos I've seen I wouldn't be affected by large urethras. Maybe it's because hers, along with her whole pussy, looks so dry. It makes me think of someone masturbating completely dry. Why would you do that?! It must hurt so bad!

And why does that fake doctor keep blowing air up her asshole and pussy? What kind of fake gyno exam is this!?

Sex on the Beach

I'm still not sure if this BDSM clip is actually in real public or in a staged public setting, but I thought I'd give some tips for people who want to have sex in public legally. Yes, that's right, it is legal to have sex in public in some places. First up, let's talk about the UK.

Image via WikipediaIf the sandy shores of a sunset beach have ever struck you as the ideal romantic rendezvous, don’t brush it away as an illegal fantasy. Plan your next vacation instead! Plan your trip to the beaches of the UK where sex on the beach is legal. Not only is there the adrenaline rush from such a spontaneous and public show of love, but there’s a romantic, intimate and less rushed experience if you are both living out your fantasy.

Step 1: Research for your preferred beach in the UK. I suggest a beach such as Brighton or Durness.

Step 2: Plan a flight to the UK.

Step 3: Get a hotel on or near the beach of your choice.

Step 4: Seek a secluded location on the beach.

Step 5: Lay out a blanket or extra large towel to protect yourself from sand creeping into unwelcome places. A regular beach towel will probably not be sufficient.

Step 6: The genitals must be uncovered to engage in public sex.

Step 7: Protection is recommended. Even in a monogamous relationship it is wise to use a condom.

Step 8: Have sex however you wish.

Step 9: Keep noise to a minimum. If other beachgoers stumble upon you and complain to the authorities you can be charged and fined. This is only legal if you do not offend others.

Step 10: Be respectful of police. If an officer comes across you, you will probably only be issued a warning, as there is no law against sex on the beach. Do not be rude to an officer issuing a warning though.

Tips:

The Sexual Offences Act of 2003 does not legislate against sex on the beach as long as the sex is consensual.

The Ministry of Justice released this quote on the act: "Effectively sex on the beach in isolated places is allowed, so long as there is a reasonable expectation of privacy - which someone engaging in such an activity would be expected to prove."

UK authorities will usually ignore it if a couple is sexually active in an isolated spot and are not attempting to draw attention to themselves.

Anthro Dragon Jizzing

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. The holiday season has seen me coming(cumming?) and going quite a bit and I just haven't had time for much else. I come baring Christmas spirit with me today and for the next few days though!

What do you mean spelling Santa in the special cum snow won't make him come...cum faster?

The faster you get here, Santa, the sooner I can put weird stuff like this away.

By the way, another example of why artists should sign their work... or maybe not. I wouldn't claim it if I'd drawn it. But anyway, if you're the artist or know the artist of this, and want the credit for it, tell me.

Predator Vs. Xenomorph Sex Conclusion

And this post will bring to a close the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series. I think it's obvious who the winner is, but let me know in the comments who you think dominated the field. Was it the xenomorph sex for mutilating women and men alike or the Predators for raping each other and .... well this.

This is by an artist named Kupopo and yes, that is Wakka from Final Fantasy 10 cumming all over his own face and gravity defying hair while a Predator stuffs his thumb up his ass. Can you imagine how painful that fingernail is inside that little pink hole? Ouch!

Predator Sex

Unlike Xenomorph sex, Predators will actually have sex with their own kind. Just check out this loving couple. Okay, maybe they're not so loving and she's about to rape him. Whatever.

The fourth installment in the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series. Only one to go so I hope you're rooting for a winner.

More Xenomorph Sex

The third installment of the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series. And we ain't done with the xenomorph sex yet!

There's no proof that this guy is about to get his asshole raped and ripped open other than the comment added to the bottom, which makes it look fittingly like a demotivational poster - I'd be demotivated if a xenomorph were about to rape me.

Oh, you also know he's about to get his ass filled with hot Xenomorph cum because the artist is a woman named Soto. She has some serious fetish for men getting ripped apart by monsters.

Xenomorph Sex

The second photo in the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series.

When the eggs from those vagina bursters hatch, this is what you get. A very horny xenomorph looking for sex.

This woman doesn't look nearly frightened enough to be having sex with a xenomorph. I mean, she has that one arm out like she's trying to get away, but she doesn't really look like she's trying.

Is the xenomorph sex-ing her with his tail? Shouldn't she be falling apart as acid eats her insides then? Yes, I did just over-analyze this poorly rendered photo.

Rape Toons Xenomorph Sex

This is the first part of the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series.

Technically these are facehuggers failing to find the proper hole - or at least most of them are failing, two did find the throat just fine - but just think, once those eggs hatch into chest bursters it's going to be a serious case of guro hentai for these poor raped toons.

Vagina burster? Asshole burster? Somehow that makes my pelvis ache to even think about. Would it even kill you right away?

Billy and Mandy Porn

While we're on the subject of stomach inflation and weird hentai with stomach bulging, I have to show everyone this Billy & Mandy porn by a very talented artist named Wagner.

First, I present to you stomach bulging so horrifying my vagina actually ached for a cartoon character! Penises do not and cannot look like that inside of a woman, in case you weren't aware. If it did, it would be puncturing her cervix and she would most likely not be enjoying it - assuming she wasn't passed out and bleeding to death.

And gallons of cum. This has always been one of the most disgusting fetishes to me. Who wants gallons of cum? Seriously! A tablespoon or less of it is gag-inducing enough, especially if the guy, like most men in the US, has an absolutely atrocious diet. 

You can see the rest of Wagner's comics of Billy and Mandy porn here.

Hentai Monster Sex Stomach Inflation

Talking about human toilets always makes me think of tentacle monsters. I mean, how often do they actually look like they're cumming? They usually just look like they're jettisoning a bunch of piss all over you, because let's face it, no man or monster can probably produce enough cum to inflate you and make you puke it out - especially since that's physically impossible.

This picture demonstrates exactly what I'm talking about in case you've never had the 'pleasure' of viewing, and laughing at, belly bulging and stomach inflation.

Does anyone know what hentai this is from? I'm admittedly not very up-to-date about all the popular hentai monster sex titles, but I feel like I should probably know this one.