Super Orgy Horror: Faust

Okay, I have a serious weakness for pornos parading as horror movies and I just have to share another one with you. This movie is called Faust: Love of the Damned. From ketchup-colored blood to horrible CGI with inflating boobs and butt and a lame, super orgy at the end, this movie is a hilariously awful excuse for 'horror' and porn.

Hot and Cold Cock and Ball Torture

I was looking for something about snow or ice to help us all think cooler thoughts for this hot, miserable summer and I found this. It didn't really make me feel any cooler, but it did make me think some things.

First, why is it that men who are into BDSM are almost always torturing themselves?

Second, why do no women seem to subject themselves to punishment? They always seem to have someone else on hand to subject them to a BDSM fuck.

Does it have something to do with a lack of female mistresses that really like cock and ball torture (I mean, I know you can pay for it, but that doesn't mean they like it) or is it just that women find it easier to find someone to go with their fetishes?

Whatever. Watch this dude roll around in the snow while pouring hot wax on his cock and balls.




Want to do this to yourself because you're a sad and lonely individual who needs the weirdest shit ever to get off? This kit comes with 4 unscented candles guaranteed not to leave second degree burns but still provide a lot of pain. And if you want to do it with a partner, or pretend that you have a loved one when you're really a lonely pervert, there's a mask included!

BDSM Brutal Fireworks

It's the 4th of July again and I thought we MSFTs could celebrate by watching BDSM. Brutal doesn't even cover my thoughts on this when he shoves fireworks up her loose asshole. He's weirdly worried about her comfort for being a dom. He keeps asking if she's okay throughout; hell, as long as there were no burn marks I'd have kept going even if she started crying like a whore. I like fireworks though.

I guess, if you've got the freedom, use it to do the freakiest stuff possible!


What the hell is wrong with her pussy after he unclips it? He even yanks on those nasty-looking beef curtains like they're a play thing. Ewww. When will people learn those are not toys and should be removed!?



In case no one catches the irony of my BDSM brutal tribute to the 4th of July, those people are British.

Birthday with Batman Porno

Happy birthday MSFT,
You're really swell; it's okay.
Been a year to the day.
Take the night off, let's play.

Happy birthday Mystery Sex Fetish Theater! You're a year older, a year raunchier, a year more fucked up and hopefully there will be many more years of laughter, and insanely pricey therapist bills, to come.

The concept of this is actually really interesting, and even inspired a story about Harley, Ivy and Batgirl that I might share at some point when I stop being lazy, but the art itself stinks.

Those abs are horribly rendered. The bullet holes have the same consistency as those candles - which I pretend means it actually is candle wax that Harley just squished onto her to keep the candles from leaking, because bullet holes are not sexy at all. The blood on Batgirl's face seems to defy the laws of gravity somehow, not to mention the fact that there's no obvious place it came from. Why are there only five candles? Is Joker turning five? Is it shorthand for fifty? And just a personal preference, fire crotch would have been appropriate; she is a natural redhead.

Keep trying Deberzer. Hell, maybe by now you've actually improved. I sure hope so.

Bye bye now.

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Guro Hentai Torture Cartoons

Sadly, instead of the peace-bringing lesbian warfare, you're much more likely to get this kind of situation.

Even though this is a weird rape fetish, hostage scenario, it was interestingly unique right up until the guy uses the shotgun while it's inside the woman's ass.

I guess if you're into anal gaping stretching, this is your movie!

BDSM Fuck: Slow Torture Puke Chamber

Do you remember when I showed the Maskhead snuff movie? That movie was messed up, right? Like someone wanted to make porn, but didn't want to work with an actual porn agency for marketing so they just made a shitty horror movie instead.

Well, I come baring more treats very similar to the Maskhead snuff movie. Movies like this have a little bit of every fetish and a whole lot to laugh at. Let's begin by laughing at the writer/producer/director of today's movie titled "Slow Torture Puke Chamber". He has dubbed himself Lucifer Valentine - at least I assume his parents weren't insane enough to name their child Lucifer. You never know.

In the opening credits alone you get to watch fake cocks shoot fake blood all over a probably real stripper. Who could ask for more from a movie?




True to Lucifer Valentine's name, he has created some really sick and retarded BDSM and brutal pornography and then labeled it with a horror movie tag instead of marketing it to perverts who enjoy snuff videos and a bad BDSM fuck.

This is yet another BDSM clip where I can't list all the actual fetishes in the tags so I'm just going to put some of the fetishes in order of how they appear. You can try to scroll through if there's a particular one you want to whack off to, you sick fuck.

Cumshot blood
Vomit fetish
Asphyxiation, possibly autoerotic asphyxiation. It was hard to tell.
Piss slave
Incest fetish with an Elektra complex.
More self-induced vomit fetish, but it's blood and she drinks it.
Gagging
Even more vomit fetish
Drunken sleeping fetish
Advanced masturbation techniques with a Crucifix; it's like Jesus is cunt-punting you.
Bondage artwork
More vomit fetish. You're seeing a theme here, right? One girl pukes up blood, the other pukes up... stuff. They both keep masturbating with their crucifixes.
BDSM fuck with a crucifix - someone else brutally fucks this girl with it instead of masturbation.
Food eating fetish mixed with
Bug fetish
Girls drinking piss and calling herself a piss slave
Autoerotic asphyxiation
Prostitution
More piss slave action
BBW obese girl getting beaten
More vomit fetish!
More African BBW girl.
Period fetish
Pregnancy fetish
Snuff fetish
And more vomit fetish
Male gagging and vomit fetish; it's not just for women. I actually think that fat, unattractive guy is Lucifer Valentine himself. I can't imagine anyone else wanting to pretend to devour a baby.
More vomit fetish with the BBW obese girl eating it.
And the piss slave is back.
Baby rape
More vomit fetish with the African BBW being forced to drink it.
More piss slave girl.
Fat guy vomit fetish again; I guess he wasn't really that into the baby rape.
Girls drinking piss again.
Rape fetish sex stories
I'm really tired of listing the vomit fetish stuff, so... let's just assume there's a lot more vomiting.
Autoerotic asphyxiation leading to snuff to finish the horrendous stupidity of this movie off.

And now that I have watched all of that, I'm going to bill Lucifer Valentine for my psychiatric bills... Not! That movie was not nearly as shocking and disgusting as he probably thinks it is. I routinely see worse on amateur porn sites.

BDSM Clip

I realized today that there was something I had not posted very much of and it surprised me a bit to realize this. I have only posted a BDSM clip here and there, and that's bizarre because BDSM is like furries, it gets combined with just about every fetish imaginable.

So here's a hard BDSM fuck. Of course, I'm not sure how actual BDSM it is since the girl is clearly making demands, such as "I want the audience to call me a fucking whore!" I'm also not sure this is really in 'public' or even with a non-porno industry audience, but it's an interesting twist on the public sex idea if it is.

Weird Hentai with Shemale Fetish

Another weird hentai video, but this one features a shemale fetish with huge tits, I mean really, really, bigger than a man's body huge. She gets milked and then her nipples are actually fucked. No, I don't mean they tit fuck her, I mean the men push their dicks into her nipples and fuck her nipples.

I said weird hentai, didn't I?

We have live-action tentacle porn, can we get this in live action too?



I used to have just a clip of this hentai, titled Shinsou no Reijoutachi, posted here, but Xvideos started having issues with their server and now I can't find just the clip. So here's all of episode 2, which contains the scene I described above at the 10 minute mark.

The moments leading up to that scene make me realize just how weird hentai really can be. There's a lot of masturbation guro in the first two minutes BDSM Brutal fucks and much much more that I didn't even realize was in this show.

BDSM Needle Play and Vaginal Piercing

Hey, I have that same massager! What do you mean she has needles sticking out of her pussy, tits, face and mouth? I hadn’t noticed. This is some serious BDSM needle play. Brutal and a little bloody. Don't worry, she's not high, she's actually in 'subspace' which is what BDSM brutal lovers go into when they are really getting off on the pain.

I like body piercing, female genital piercings are fucking sexy, but this... Ick.

And why is it fat girls in porn wear those half corsets? Those only make you look fatter, you know.



What's really going on is this woman couldn't decide which vaginal piercings she wanted, so she got them all at once and wants to test them for a while.

Super Fisting

Yet another level on the bizarre fisting circuit. Double anal or vagina fisting isn't all that weird considering some of the things I've shown, but the piercings on this pussy are gnarly! They are enough to make this double anal super fisting really weird.


Extreme Fisting Taken To The Next Level brought to you by PornHub

And the next level is clapping! After that, we'll sing the happy and you know it song!

Sleeping Fetish and Finger Sucking

I realized why the foot rape video bothered me so much so I thought I'd share my story with everyone. I mentioned before in this XXX foot massage video how I had my finger's sucked while on a Grey Hound bus and so I'm going to recount the tale. Just as the foot rape fetish guy gets off while girls are sleeping, so did the guy on the bus.

Maybe this is all about a sleeping fetish.


This isn't going to be the most eloquent story I've ever written, but quite frankly, I'm absolutely traumatized by this and will not ride on a Grey Hound ever again. I also have an aversion to planes, trains and any other form of transportation where I am in a cramped space with people who have the potential to be psychos with mystery sex fetishes.

I had to make 7 transfers when I was going from my college to my home for summer break. It was at the second stop that a man got on the bus and sat next to me. Now, this is no problem as I was just listening to my MP3 player.

This guy wanted to talk though so I took my headphones off. The conversation was normal enough to start with. He was going to the same general area as me and we had the same buses to get on. It seemed reasonable to say, 'hey, we can sit together, that way we know who we're sitting with.'

Oh, how I wish he hadn't said that and I agreed.

After stop 3, it started getting weird. He started talking about his life, about how he was living on the street until he went to a church that has... I guess the closest you can call it is a halfway house to help people get on their feet. I personally have no knowledge of these things, so I'm not sure what they're called or how common they are.

I, naturally, felt a little bad for him and even told him he was doing the right thing by going back to his hometown to be closer to his family where he'd have a support system and blahblahblah.

He then revealed while living in this halfway house, collecting unemployment and food stamps and whatever else the government may hand out to people who are 'down on their luck', he spent money on seeing a dominatrix. I think I took on the most dumbfounded look of my life. So he had no money to get an apartment, had to mooch off the government and a church, but he had money to see a very, very expensive dominatrix? And trust me, they are expensive.

Seeing as I was a dominatrix for a couple years of my life, I was more disgusted with the waste of resources he had no right to be wasting - your tax dollar at work! - than by the act itself. That is, until he started telling me what exactly he did with the dominatrix.

What you do behind closed doors is your business. He shouldn't have shared that he saw a sex worker in the first place, but he did and I could forgive that faux pas, if only he'd shut the fuck up about the rest of it. He recounted the use of gas masks - I'm still not entirely sure what that is in regards to fetishism - latex body bags, asphyxiation, whipping, electro torture and a variety of other things. The whole while I was saying, "I see. I'm really not interested." I even put on my headphones but he just spoke louder, like he didn't care that the whole bus might hear him recounting his sexploits.

Stop 4 just couldn't roll around soon enough, but I was not lucky enough to ditch him. It was late and the bus was clearing out of people so there was no one to squeeze myself in next to to escape him. He sat with me again. He didn't talk. I thought he must have gotten the message.

By this point I had been awake for more than 24 hours, had walked 2 miles with 115 Lbs of duffel bags and had been on the bus for 8 hours. I was exhausted. I still don't even remember falling asleep.

What I do remember is waking up because I felt something slimy on my fingers. I assumed I had stuck my hand in an empty bowl of noodles I'd eaten earlier. No, no, it was much worse. My eyes opened and I saw this guy with his mouth on my fingers.

He tried to apologize. I smacked him in the mouth again.

I smacked him in the mouth hard enough to draw blood, wiped my fingers on the back of his seat, wet wipes and anything else I happened to pass for the next four hours. I would have happily wiped my hands in dog shit if only to distract myself from the incredible nastiness of some nasty, scumbag, societal leach sucking on my fingers.

And people wonder why I hate people. It seems anytime I deign to come out of my home and meet people outside of my normal circle of friends, I meet completely fucked up weirdos - that's right, this isn't the first time something utterly gross and weird like this has happened to me, but that's a story for another day.

Too bad I didn't have this blog back then; I could have sent him to it. Of course, he'd get off to all the videos instead of finding them hilarious.

Maskhead Horror Snuff: Balloon Popping Fetish and More

Well if you're like me, you're getting a little tired of those anthro sex photos from the last week, so let's move on to something else.

I'm a big horror movie fan and after having watched everything Hollywood could churn out, anything noteworthy from the Brits and even some things from New Zealand, I started turning to B-rated horror movies - okay, maybe they're more like Q-rated horror movies - to get my horror movie fix.

Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised at the quality of these movies.

Sometimes I'm not.

And sometimes, I'm shocked at how people try to make horror porno films, but can't get anyone to take off their clothes so they just classify it as horror. This movie is something like that. It's called Maskhead and there is no discernible plot to the entire movie.

What it does have, is a lot of really weird fetishes. It's like someone watched every video, photo and article I ever posted, added a Plasterhead style killer and tried to make a sick, fetish video. ...only none of the actors wanted to get naked after reading how shitty the script was.

What you end up with, is this train wreck of a balloon fetish video with focus on the balloon popping fetish, food eating fetish, pissing fetishes, dog play fetishes, weird costumes like clowns and finally, snuff.


Oh, and let's not forget the very end where we have a weird rape fetish with pussy stretching. Our bad guy, Maskhead, inserts a 2X4 dildo with nails in it, into a woman's vagina. They actually show her vagina gushing blood - if you watch for nothing else, watch for that; it's a rip roaring good laugh.

Underage Hentai Gains Fines

Cartoons are people too. Didn't you know? I'm sure those who get their rocks off watching hentai and other cartoon porn already know about this as it happened quite a few years ago, but I thought I'd tell the story for those who aren't aware - it really is a funny little story.


An Australian man was convicted of having child pornography because he had pornographic images of Maggie, Bart and Lisa Simpson on his computer. The lawyer tried to argue she was her age by years on the air rather than just arguing she is not a real human being.

The man ultimately had to pay $3,000 fines and was released on a good behavior bond.

In seeking an overturn to the original child pornography ruling, a second judge proved himself to be equally incompetent by yet again ruling that cartoons are people too.

Don't worry, all the Simpsons appear to be 18 and over here so jack off at your leisure. Picture by The Fear.

Like high school, loli or shota hentai? Better not keep evidence of it around the house, because that orgasm you got from it could turn into a $3,000 masturbation service.