Illegaltube and Anal Bizarre

Note, a portion of this is an old post that I salvaged from an old blog. I wanted to recycle it rather than waste it. The guestbook was removed just two days after I made this post, but I'm pretty sure their TOS hasn't changed. The site now also requires a 'donation' to view videos over 2 minutes in length.

Shockingtube.com

We all know what this is. It’s another dirty youtube porn site, kind of like redtube, pornotube or a variety of other tubes you could think of. The difference is, shockingtube is meant to… shock you. More than that, it’s meant to get very disturbing and creepy fetish people’s rocks off.

The sad truth is, there was a video on there I wanted to see and so I registered an account(you have to have an account to view videos). Now, I saw a way to delete my account at one point, but had already clicked away from it and when I went in search of it again, just couldn’t find it. I wasn’t too worried. Not worried until I found fifteen friend requests in my mail box from creeps on shockingtube. And let’s not forget the e-mails I began receiving with people asking was I into piss, shit, dogs, animals of any variety, incest or just having a real life slave that would relocate to please me. No, no I’m not into any of those things. Ignoring these creepy people just doesn’t work though as more crop up and heaven forbid you contact them to tell them you hate them, for they will come back full force with their love of whatever their fetish is or they will accuse you of having sex with dogs(wait… isn’t that a compliment from these people?)

So I finally found the delete my account button again. Know what I found? There’s a mailer error, not that my e-mail doesn’t exist, but that their account, noreply@shockingtube.com doesn’t exist. OMGWTFBBQBYOBLMFAO!? Are they serious? Their own account doesn’t exist? This account that has been sending me multitudes of friend requests from creepy people I don’t want to be friends with no longer exists? But it’s still sending me friend requests!

And don’t bother trying to contact them about the error on their site or the fact that you want your account deleted. There’s a mailer error of the same variety on the contact us page.

Now let’s move on to the fun I discovered while trying to decipher this website. Terms of service. Does this now translate to ‘illegal as hell’?

Directly from their guestbook: Name: 16yr
Description: 16yr old male want cam **********(screen name and e-mail deleted for the safety of the minor who has already corrupted his mind with weird fetishism)

Directly from Terms of Service: “The Website is controlled and offered by ShockingTube from its facilities in the United States of America. ShockingTube makes no representations that the ShockingTube Website is appropriate or available for use in other locations.”

All good and dandy, just follow American law, be 18 and make sure it’s legal in your community to view pornographic material. But wait! Do they undermine themselves? Of course, just like all good contracts do!

“You affirm that you are either more than 18 years of age, or an emancipated minor, or possess legal parental or guardian consent, and are fully able and competent to enter into the terms, conditions, obligations, affirmations, representations, and warranties set forth in these Terms of Service, and to abide by and comply with these Terms of Service. In any case, you affirm that you are over the age of 13, as the ShockingTube Website is not intended for children under 13. If you are under 13 years of age, then please do not use the ShockingTube Website—there are lots of other great web sites for you. Talk to your parents about what sites are appropriate for you.”

But wait… you are assuming I’m from America but you think it’s legal for me to view your website at the age of 13? Are you serious? 13? I don‘t even want to view this site and I‘m 20! Or that having parental permission or being emancipated makes it legal to view pornography? Wow! Someone take these boys to law school and teach them how to put together at least a believable contract! Any parent/guardian/adult allowing a minor(even an emancipated minor) access to pornographic material will most likely be put in jail… plus it’s just plain creepy.

And now so you can see just how creepy shockingtube is, and this link should work even without an account and without donating, this man's assholes gets torn open on a stretching dildo. ....is that corn under the head?