Showing posts with label Masturbation Masculine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Masturbation Masculine. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Birthing Fetish

Is this a birthing fetish or anal bizarre fetish? I'm really just horribly confused... and really scared by this. I mean, those things look like real babies to an extent! They're all wrinkly like newborns and covered in Vaseline. If only he'd put red food coloring in the Vaseline it would have looked even more real!


Monday, May 23, 2011

Advanced Masturbation Techniques and Bizarre Fisting

I have seen some weird advanced masturbation techniques in my time running this blog. I have also seen some pretty bizarre fisting. Never before have I seen the two combined so seemlessly, except, perhaps, by Max Hardcore (whom I need to introduce you to soon).

This guy actually jerks himself off while fucking her in the ass. That's some serious talent... or creepiness, I'm not really sure.



Does this count as double penetration?

Friday, May 13, 2011

Masturbation Masculine

People who masturbate on video without actually doing anything are obviously never going to make it onto this site. So why on earth, you may ask, am I posting what looks like some regular dude jerking off with a mask on?

Well, play the video and you'll see. As I do not have a penis, I'm not sure if this is something that's difficult to accomplish, if every guy does it at least once in his life, or what, but this made me laugh so damn hard just because all those streams of cum are slapping him right in the face. Good thing he wore the mask, right?




Or did the mask make it worse and trap all the jizz right beneath it?

Friday, April 8, 2011

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday with a Food Fetish

It's my birthday and I wanted to celebrate with all my MSFTs. So I brought you all cake! That's right, I bought enough cake for all of you. How old am I? Shut up and eat your cake.


(             )
) (*) (*) ( (*) | | (*) | |~| |~| | |~| | | | | |~| | | | | | | | | ,| |a@@@@| |@@@@@@@@@@@| |@@@@a| |. .,a@@@| |@@@@@| |@@@@@@@@@@@| |@@@@@| |@@@@a,. ,a@@@@@@| |@@@@@@@@@@@@.@@@@@@@@@@@@@@| |@@@@@@@a, a@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@' . `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@a ;`@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@' . `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@'; ;@@@`@@@@@@@@@@@@@' . `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@'@@@; ;@@@;,.aaaaaaaaaa . aaaaa,,aaaaaaa,;@@@; ;;@;;;;@@@@@@@@;@ @.@ ;@@@;;;@@@@@@;;;;@@; ;;;;;;;@@@@;@@;;@ @@ . @@ ;;@;;;;@@;@@@;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;@@;;;;;;; @@ . @@ ;;;;;;;;;;;@@;;;;@;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;@@ . @@;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;@@@; ,%%%;;;;;;;;@;;;;;;;; . ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;@@;;%%%, .%%%%%%;;;;;;;@@;;;;;;;; ,%%%, ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;%%%%%%, .%%%%%%%;;;;;;;@@;;;;;;;; ,%%%%%%%, ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;%%%%%%%, %%%%%%%%`;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; %%%%%%%%%%% ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%`;;;;;;;;;;;;,%%%%%%%%%%%%%,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'%%%%%%%%%%%% `%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%,,,,,,,%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%,,,,,,,%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%' `%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%' `%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%' """"""""""""""`,,,,,,,,,'""""""""""""""""" %%%%%%% %%%%% %%% Susie Oviatt %%%%% %%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Be warned, this happened to it at the store. Not sure if you really want to eat cake made by a guy with a food fetish. But hey, if you're feeling adventurous, eat up.





Bye bye now. Don't steal my birthday candles, okay?

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,%y^\\` ,i. | `-^-.__,-.
(/// _\\) | | | ,%y^\\` |
(((( - ))) | | | (/// .\\)) |
((|)_*_/((( _____|_|_____ | (((( ^ )))) |
))(/) (\((|) ".___________." | (((|)_*_/((() |
((((\___/))(\ \y ,--.y/ | ))))) ()))) |
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Monday, February 21, 2011

Anal Bizarre Stiletto Fetish

As stated before, foot fetishes are usually pretty tame. But then people do weird highheels fetish porn where they lick the inside of their sweaty highheels. This guy decides a stiletto is the perfect advanced masturbation techniques toy. And why the hell not? Just look at that long, smooth... pointy... painful-looking highheel.




Why the hell do crossdressers have the ugliest shoes possible? Seriously? I know men aren't supposed to have fashion sense, but if you are going to wear an item that is considered fashionable you should at least make sure it's not ugly as sin.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Advanced Masturbation Techniques for Valentines Day

As usual, I almost always end up focusing on the 'male fantasy' during holidays - of course, most porn is made for men so that could be why, and also, most men have the weirdest fucking fetishes they want women to live out, but are too pussy to ask a real woman to do. Thus, sex fetish porn is born.

Anyway, rambling aside, I bring a little something for the ladies and a tiny something for the plushie yiff fans.

What do you mean posing your cock with stuffed animals is weird? And that the odd montage of a random girl at the end is weird? Obviously you're just crazy because this is what every girl wants for Valentines Day.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Anthro Dragon Jizzing

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. The holiday season has seen me coming(cumming?) and going quite a bit and I just haven't had time for much else. I come baring Christmas spirit with me today and for the next few days though!

What do you mean spelling Santa in the special cum snow won't make him come...cum faster?

The faster you get here, Santa, the sooner I can put weird stuff like this away.



By the way, another example of why artists should sign their work... or maybe not. I wouldn't claim it if I'd drawn it. But anyway, if you're the artist or know the artist of this, and want the credit for it, tell me.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Blowup Dolls Alternative Plushie

Today I want to introduce you to this weird product I found. It's an alternative for blowup dolls and plushies. When you have a plushie sex fetish and a blowup dolls fetish, this little sex toy is just what you need.


Introducing the Aoi Himeno Plushie Sex Doll!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Illegaltube and Anal Bizarre

Note, a portion of this is an old post that I salvaged from an old blog. I wanted to recycle it rather than waste it. The guestbook was removed just two days after I made this post, but I'm pretty sure their TOS hasn't changed. The site now also requires a 'donation' to view videos over 2 minutes in length.

Shockingtube.com

We all know what this is. It’s another dirty youtube porn site, kind of like redtube, pornotube or a variety of other tubes you could think of. The difference is, shockingtube is meant to… shock you. More than that, it’s meant to get very disturbing and creepy fetish people’s rocks off.

The sad truth is, there was a video on there I wanted to see and so I registered an account(you have to have an account to view videos). Now, I saw a way to delete my account at one point, but had already clicked away from it and when I went in search of it again, just couldn’t find it. I wasn’t too worried. Not worried until I found fifteen friend requests in my mail box from creeps on shockingtube. And let’s not forget the e-mails I began receiving with people asking was I into piss, shit, dogs, animals of any variety, incest or just having a real life slave that would relocate to please me. No, no I’m not into any of those things. Ignoring these creepy people just doesn’t work though as more crop up and heaven forbid you contact them to tell them you hate them, for they will come back full force with their love of whatever their fetish is or they will accuse you of having sex with dogs(wait… isn’t that a compliment from these people?)

So I finally found the delete my account button again. Know what I found? There’s a mailer error, not that my e-mail doesn’t exist, but that their account, noreply@shockingtube.com doesn’t exist. OMGWTFBBQBYOBLMFAO!? Are they serious? Their own account doesn’t exist? This account that has been sending me multitudes of friend requests from creepy people I don’t want to be friends with no longer exists? But it’s still sending me friend requests!

And don’t bother trying to contact them about the error on their site or the fact that you want your account deleted. There’s a mailer error of the same variety on the contact us page.

Now let’s move on to the fun I discovered while trying to decipher this website. Terms of service. Does this now translate to ‘illegal as hell’?

Directly from their guestbook: Name: 16yr
Description: 16yr old male want cam **********(screen name and e-mail deleted for the safety of the minor who has already corrupted his mind with weird fetishism)

Directly from Terms of Service: “The Website is controlled and offered by ShockingTube from its facilities in the United States of America. ShockingTube makes no representations that the ShockingTube Website is appropriate or available for use in other locations.”

All good and dandy, just follow American law, be 18 and make sure it’s legal in your community to view pornographic material. But wait! Do they undermine themselves? Of course, just like all good contracts do!

“You affirm that you are either more than 18 years of age, or an emancipated minor, or possess legal parental or guardian consent, and are fully able and competent to enter into the terms, conditions, obligations, affirmations, representations, and warranties set forth in these Terms of Service, and to abide by and comply with these Terms of Service. In any case, you affirm that you are over the age of 13, as the ShockingTube Website is not intended for children under 13. If you are under 13 years of age, then please do not use the ShockingTube Website—there are lots of other great web sites for you. Talk to your parents about what sites are appropriate for you.”

But wait… you are assuming I’m from America but you think it’s legal for me to view your website at the age of 13? Are you serious? 13? I don‘t even want to view this site and I‘m 20! Or that having parental permission or being emancipated makes it legal to view pornography? Wow! Someone take these boys to law school and teach them how to put together at least a believable contract! Any parent/guardian/adult allowing a minor(even an emancipated minor) access to pornographic material will most likely be put in jail… plus it’s just plain creepy.

And now so you can see just how creepy shockingtube is, and this link should work even without an account and without donating, this man's assholes gets torn open on a stretching dildo. ....is that corn under the head?

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Pre-Halloween Xmen Porn

Here at Mystery Sex Fetish Theater, we love Halloween. No other night of the year can you dress up as your darkest desires and hide the fact that it's your fantasy. Always dreamed you were a monster sent to ravage and rape women? You can do it on Halloween - minus the real raping, but hey, enough women get drunk on Halloween you could probably have a damn good time.

Always wanted to be an Xmen porn character like Wolverine? Well you probably won't look like him, but suck in that gut, put on some yellow spandex and try anyway! The redhead you find to be Jean Grey probably won't mind.


Whatever your fantasy, I hope you have the perfect costume planned. Colossus, Nightcrawler and Beast are ready. Actually, is Beast ready? What is he supposed to be? He just looks kinda... pink.


May your gayest... I mean greatest fantasies come true.

PS. Anyone know who the artist is? Nightcrawler in his make your own devil costume is absolutely adorable and I'd love to know who did it.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sexy Anthro Whale

When being hung like a sexy anthro horse just isn't enough, you could always turn to whale meat.


Does anyone know the artist that cherry symbol belongs to?

Artists, this is why it's so important you sign your work! I always try to give credit where credit is due, but these images end up stolen a million times over and a visible signature name, not just a symbol, would make identifying you much easier.


When that's not big enough, go to the next sexy anthro.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Ninja Fap-Jutsu

This guy claims he's a sexy ninja but he looks more like he's wearing a really bad wrestling costume. Watch as he jerks off, just for you, in his ninja/lucha libre costume.


Sunday, July 25, 2010

Autofellatio Video

Who needs to spend money on a vase or a sex plushie when you can just buy some yoga classes and get the job done yourself?

As a non-penis baring individual I’m not sure if, if I had a penis, I’d be jealous of not being able to do this myself or if I’d find it weird.

As a woman, I’m positive that I wish all men would learn to do this and leave women alone unless they offer such a service - or you paid for it. Your dick is not as tasty as you think.


...actually, this guy’s might be the way he’s chowing down.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Sex with a Vase: Advanced Masturbation Techniques

Don't just rub on things like balloons and inflatable zebras, actually stick that dick in something!

Women and gay men stick things in themselves all the time for the amusement of perverts and MSFTs so it's only fitting that men should stick their dicks into strange things for our amusement as well.


Watch as he puts something besides flowers in this vase.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Beach Ball Sex

Would you feel bad if you were on the beach playing beach volleyball and someone was more interested in the ball than you?

Beach ball sex is like balloon sex, but without the risk of popping. So if you’re into not popping balloons for sexual pleasure, maybe you should look into a beach ball.


Yes, that’s right, after he takes his jammies off, he is wearing pull ups. They look soiled and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were.

If you are interested in making love to a beach ball but aren't sure how to get started, I'm sure it's not too different than having sex with an inflatable zebra.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Balloon Looner: The Balloon Fetish Video

Did you, once upon a time, fear you were a pedophile because you got excited everytime you were at a children's party? Did you later discover it was not the snot-nosed children that were exciting you, but the smell of latex and the feel of electro-static prickling the hair on the back of your neck that got your cock standing on end - or pussy all gushing wet?


You probably have a balloon or looner fetish then. Watch this man display just how much he loves this balloon as he humps it.



There are many classes of balloon fetishism. Some believe they need to pop the balloon to achieve climax - is that like a balloon snuff film? - and others think popping the balloon is blasphemous.

Where do you fall?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

How to Have Sex with an Inflatable Zebra

Hey, just because I told you how to modify a sex plushie doesn't mean I'm going to tell you how to have sex with an inflatable zebra.

In fact, I'll do you one better and show you a video of how to do it. No, it's not me teaching. This guy is going to teach you, because according to his photo and video library, he's an inflatable sex toy loving expert. Let him share his inflatable-animal loving knowledge with you.