Japanese Love Doll with a Fuck Machine

I wonder if this guy realizes that fucking a real sex doll with a fuck machine isn't going to do anyone any good.

These Japanese love doll/real doll toys look pretty realistic, but they're not, right? I mean, they're really not, right? There's not an adult version of Toy Story out there, is there?

Been a Weird Pussy Stretching Halloween

Happy Halloween, dear MSFTs!

Another Halloween and you're sitting at home by yourself, pulling your pud to weird porn? It's okay, I knew you'd be here. That's why I came prepared.

I can't read the signature and the site I found this on didn't give credit so if you are the artist or know the artist or can read that signature, let me know and I'll give credit where it's due.

Now, go dream of shoving Jackolanterns up a girl's cunt and leave me alone, you pervs; I have trick-or-treating to do.

Birthing Fetish

Is this a birthing fetish or anal bizarre fetish? I'm really just horribly confused... and really scared by this. I mean, those things look like real babies to an extent! They're all wrinkly like newborns and covered in Vaseline. If only he'd put red food coloring in the Vaseline it would have looked even more real!

Happy Birthday with a Food Fetish

It's my birthday and I wanted to celebrate with all my MSFTs. So I brought you all cake! That's right, I bought enough cake for all of you. How old am I? Shut up and eat your cake.

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Be warned, this happened to it at the store. Not sure if you really want to eat cake made by a guy with a food fetish. But hey, if you're feeling adventurous, eat up.





Bye bye now. Don't steal my birthday candles, okay?

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Anal Bizarre Stiletto Fetish

As stated before, foot fetishes are usually pretty tame. But then people do weird highheels fetish porn where they lick the inside of their sweaty highheels. This guy decides a stiletto is the perfect advanced masturbation techniques toy. And why the hell not? Just look at that long, smooth... pointy... painful-looking highheel.




Why the hell do crossdressers have the ugliest shoes possible? Seriously? I know men aren't supposed to have fashion sense, but if you are going to wear an item that is considered fashionable you should at least make sure it's not ugly as sin.

Post Valentines Desserts

I waited until after Valentines Day to share these precious desserts because... well it's obviously not Valentines Day desserts that they're using. It is really freaky though and all the leftover Valentines candy I saw at the store made me think about this.

Two late 30's women are dressed up in slutty clothing in childish colors, one of them even looks like that pink haired girl from Lazy Town, and one gets big suckers shoved up her pussy.

Serious pussy stretching going on with candy; I ... never wanted to imagine this at all, but now I do want to laugh at it.




Can you say yeast infection? She will be tomorrow. The yeast will be feasting on those jellybeans stuck in her snatch for days!

Valentines Day Present

You know, usually I post videos to laugh at. Usually, all us MSFTs get together and have a great giggle over people's weird fetishes, poorly made videos and all that. But while looking for the perfect Valentines Day present to complete the virtual Valentines gift baskets I've put together here, I found this video.

I did not laugh. Instead, I sat and stared, absolutely transfixed by the erotic, sensual nature of the video.

Perhaps that is the mystery for the sex fetish theater today. How some porn can actually captivate you and seem loving.

Enjoy your Valentines Day gift, MSFTs. I don't see many more videos like this happening.




Don't be frightened, my little MSFTs, tomorrow I shall return with more porn to make fun of.

Valentines Day Balloon Popping

These aren't really Valentines day balloons, I guess since they're all kinds of colors, but the soft, pastel colors make me think of Valentines Day anyway.

This girl is getting her introduction into the balloon looner fetish; Valentines Day balloon popping fetish for your lolling pleasure. Or if you're feeling daring today, go set up your own Valentines Day games in a bathtub full of balloons! Remember, even if they're latex, they don't protect from STDs, pregnancy or... anything really. You might even get a rash on your snatch.

...just sayin'.



Naked blonde playing balloons brought to you by PornHub

The fact that she has so much trouble popping those balloons when the guy so obviously wants to get off to her popping it is hilarious.

Nipple Pumping Milk Machine

I've decided to give you more Belladonna. Why? Because that woman is a freak and there is no better fodder for my blog than the freaks of porn.

To be honest, this video seems tame to me just because it's the only Belladonna video I've seen where she's not taking fists or feet up her stretched vagina and ass. The fact that she's being milked like a cow though is pretty hilariously redeeming. Watch the nipple pumping madness!

More bonus points for lesbians!


Belladonna's Titty Milking Lezzie Torture brought to you by PornHub

Ironically, I have trouble giggling about the nipple pumping and milk machine because her short hair really bothers me. Like really, really bothered. She looks like she was abused in a military camp recently; maybe navigating her gaping ass and pussy is a military mission.

And am I the only one who now thinks Belladonna had creepy masturbation sessions while feeding her child?

Female Peehole Sounding

I realized, in the beginning of this blog of the weird, macabre and questionably sexy, I did quite a few videos of peehole sounding. It has occurred to me that all of those were being done by men. Never fear, women get into peehole play too.

This one is a lesbian though, so don't get too excited, boys.

Blowup Dolls Alternative Plushie

Today I want to introduce you to this weird product I found. It's an alternative for blowup dolls and plushies. When you have a plushie sex fetish and a blowup dolls fetish, this little sex toy is just what you need.


Introducing the Aoi Himeno Plushie Sex Doll!

Illegaltube and Anal Bizarre

Note, a portion of this is an old post that I salvaged from an old blog. I wanted to recycle it rather than waste it. The guestbook was removed just two days after I made this post, but I'm pretty sure their TOS hasn't changed. The site now also requires a 'donation' to view videos over 2 minutes in length.

Shockingtube.com

We all know what this is. It’s another dirty youtube porn site, kind of like redtube, pornotube or a variety of other tubes you could think of. The difference is, shockingtube is meant to… shock you. More than that, it’s meant to get very disturbing and creepy fetish people’s rocks off.

The sad truth is, there was a video on there I wanted to see and so I registered an account(you have to have an account to view videos). Now, I saw a way to delete my account at one point, but had already clicked away from it and when I went in search of it again, just couldn’t find it. I wasn’t too worried. Not worried until I found fifteen friend requests in my mail box from creeps on shockingtube. And let’s not forget the e-mails I began receiving with people asking was I into piss, shit, dogs, animals of any variety, incest or just having a real life slave that would relocate to please me. No, no I’m not into any of those things. Ignoring these creepy people just doesn’t work though as more crop up and heaven forbid you contact them to tell them you hate them, for they will come back full force with their love of whatever their fetish is or they will accuse you of having sex with dogs(wait… isn’t that a compliment from these people?)

So I finally found the delete my account button again. Know what I found? There’s a mailer error, not that my e-mail doesn’t exist, but that their account, noreply@shockingtube.com doesn’t exist. OMGWTFBBQBYOBLMFAO!? Are they serious? Their own account doesn’t exist? This account that has been sending me multitudes of friend requests from creepy people I don’t want to be friends with no longer exists? But it’s still sending me friend requests!

And don’t bother trying to contact them about the error on their site or the fact that you want your account deleted. There’s a mailer error of the same variety on the contact us page.

Now let’s move on to the fun I discovered while trying to decipher this website. Terms of service. Does this now translate to ‘illegal as hell’?

Directly from their guestbook: Name: 16yr
Description: 16yr old male want cam **********(screen name and e-mail deleted for the safety of the minor who has already corrupted his mind with weird fetishism)

Directly from Terms of Service: “The Website is controlled and offered by ShockingTube from its facilities in the United States of America. ShockingTube makes no representations that the ShockingTube Website is appropriate or available for use in other locations.”

All good and dandy, just follow American law, be 18 and make sure it’s legal in your community to view pornographic material. But wait! Do they undermine themselves? Of course, just like all good contracts do!

“You affirm that you are either more than 18 years of age, or an emancipated minor, or possess legal parental or guardian consent, and are fully able and competent to enter into the terms, conditions, obligations, affirmations, representations, and warranties set forth in these Terms of Service, and to abide by and comply with these Terms of Service. In any case, you affirm that you are over the age of 13, as the ShockingTube Website is not intended for children under 13. If you are under 13 years of age, then please do not use the ShockingTube Website—there are lots of other great web sites for you. Talk to your parents about what sites are appropriate for you.”

But wait… you are assuming I’m from America but you think it’s legal for me to view your website at the age of 13? Are you serious? 13? I don‘t even want to view this site and I‘m 20! Or that having parental permission or being emancipated makes it legal to view pornography? Wow! Someone take these boys to law school and teach them how to put together at least a believable contract! Any parent/guardian/adult allowing a minor(even an emancipated minor) access to pornographic material will most likely be put in jail… plus it’s just plain creepy.

And now so you can see just how creepy shockingtube is, and this link should work even without an account and without donating, this man's assholes gets torn open on a stretching dildo. ....is that corn under the head?

Sex with a Vase: Advanced Masturbation Techniques

Don't just rub on things like balloons and inflatable zebras, actually stick that dick in something!

Women and gay men stick things in themselves all the time for the amusement of perverts and MSFTs so it's only fitting that men should stick their dicks into strange things for our amusement as well.


Watch as he puts something besides flowers in this vase.

Beach Ball Sex

Would you feel bad if you were on the beach playing beach volleyball and someone was more interested in the ball than you?

Beach ball sex is like balloon sex, but without the risk of popping. So if you’re into not popping balloons for sexual pleasure, maybe you should look into a beach ball.


Yes, that’s right, after he takes his jammies off, he is wearing pull ups. They look soiled and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were.

If you are interested in making love to a beach ball but aren't sure how to get started, I'm sure it's not too different than having sex with an inflatable zebra.

Balloon Looner: The Balloon Fetish Video

Did you, once upon a time, fear you were a pedophile because you got excited everytime you were at a children's party? Did you later discover it was not the snot-nosed children that were exciting you, but the smell of latex and the feel of electro-static prickling the hair on the back of your neck that got your cock standing on end - or pussy all gushing wet?


You probably have a balloon or looner fetish then. Watch this man display just how much he loves this balloon as he humps it.



There are many classes of balloon fetishism. Some believe they need to pop the balloon to achieve climax - is that like a balloon snuff film? - and others think popping the balloon is blasphemous.

Where do you fall?

How to Have Sex with an Inflatable Zebra

Hey, just because I told you how to modify a sex plushie doesn't mean I'm going to tell you how to have sex with an inflatable zebra.

In fact, I'll do you one better and show you a video of how to do it. No, it's not me teaching. This guy is going to teach you, because according to his photo and video library, he's an inflatable sex toy loving expert. Let him share his inflatable-animal loving knowledge with you.

Classic Fruit Fetish Technique

Women have a vegetable fetish so apparently guys have fruit fetishes.

One of the comments on this video says this is a ‘classic’ technique. WTF? Guys regularly waste fruit doing this? At least veggies are still edible after a girl uses them! - assuming she’s not diseased.


Of course, try telling the watermelon sex guy it's not edible afterward.

Whipped Cream and Fruit Fetish

More watermelon fucking! After this video and the last one, watermelon will never just be a happy, summer day fruit again.

And I don’t think I can ever look at whipped cream in the same way either.

Watermelon Sex

Close your eyes while watching this. It actually sounds like normal sex - well slightly squishy, but still mostly normal sex.

Open your eyes and … he’s fucking a watermelon. Yes, a watermelon. Women use vegetables in the ass and men use fruit.


The end grosses me out. This is the same guy from the double sounding rod video; he apparently has a talent for putting things in his mouth that make me gag.

Mystery Vegetable Sex

Maybe vegetables in the ass is just too gay for you. Well, that’s definitely a vegetable of some kind in her pussy… wtf is it? I’m not really a veggie girl, though the look of that thing makes me reconsider.


Mystery Vegetable. What's more perfect for a MSFT?


European brunette is a veggie pussy stuffer brought to you by PornHub